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Nostalgia is a two party system.
Ever since we were delivered, bound and gagged by a bunch of unemployed rendition guys, to 2010, it has become painfully obvious that most folks yearn for the bygone days of either George Walker Bush or William Jefferson Clinton. As consumers of time, you are responsible for the history you want to repeat. Please choose wisely and then go away and buy something.
The Bush Years: All that disinformation seems cuddly by today's standards. Wouldn't it be great to plant yourself passively in front of that now-worthless projection screen TV and watch W do that crinkly thing he did with his face all over again?
The Clinton Years: He could feel your pain again if you would just let him. Plus, maybe you would get a shot at derailing the repeal of Glass-Steagal and alter the course of the deregulated history that forces us to this day to endure occasional glimpses of Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein.
The Bush Years: Admit it. You had a ball watching him talk about working hard and deciding stuff. And that walk! You know-- the way he strutted around with his arms tensed and ready just in case Al Qaeda might be working on a domestic brush-planting operation.
The Clinton Years: This time around you could unload all that Netscape stock before it turns into a haunting mist. Plus, going back to a world of plentiful jobs and rising wages would help distract you from the broken theme park situation we're stuck in today. And don't forget that amazing Clinton lip. It's back there waiting for you all.
The Bush Years: You can't worry about the deficit and fight two really cool wars at the same time. President Bush never got enough credit for his masterful ability to juggle so many important things, all while teaching his beloved dog Barney how to beat him at chess. And if you sign up now, former First Lady Laura Bush will re-flash her world-famous frozen smile.
The Clinton Years: Who wouldn't want to re-experience the lost innocence of those times, except for the Monica Lewinsky part? And the Paula Jones and Linda Tripp parts? Or that stretch when President Clinton was freezing his enemies alive in man-sized vats of Dairy Queen?
Democrat or Republican, either choice offers a win-win scenario. All you need to do is make your selection and be patient while Congress authorizes the funding, which should be a simple matter.
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